I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
