those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
