and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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