I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
