I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
