Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
