just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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