So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize