you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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