I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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