whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
