I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
