I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
