absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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