Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
