it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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