maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
