Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Naked. naked and bneed help.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize