I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize