Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
