For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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