Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
