so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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