I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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