Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
