They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
is that a dick in a sweater?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
