Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
