You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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