Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm like, not good at living.
as a side note pls kill me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
