im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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