All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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