When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
