Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
