So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
