there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
