She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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