Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
