So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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