there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
whose parrot is this?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize