Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
