Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
