Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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