her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
