Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
