okay pat passed out under dana's car
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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