My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
