Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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