im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
