Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
