so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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