one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
