I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
