Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
