New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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