i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize