I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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