So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize