look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
