You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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