grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
